The Slapped Ass System and how to adopt it!

Well first of all , let me explain how the Slapped Ass System works. It’s not hard or difficult to understand, in fact it can be part of your repertoire in no time at all.

What is the Slapped Ass System? What sort of chess setup is it anyway?

First you have to prepare all summer on what openings with white you want to play and what defence with black you wish to adopt. Having achieved this, the next step is to approach each game with a deep sense of confidence that you can win every game and your countenance is that of a hard to beat opponent. So all being well, off you go.

Now when you have been playing in the league for the first couple of months of the new season and you begin to lose and lose and lose and at best draw, you then begin to realise that all your hard work has left you discovering that you are in fact adapting well to the new slapped ass system, really well !

Everyone can see that your system is working clearly by the look on your face after being beaten time and time again. So, if like me you have made it to this important stage of your chess career, you can finally say to yourself, it is without doubt the most difficult system to break no matter what anyone can do. I am sure there are some players out there who know exactly what I am taking about in the lower levels of division one and beyond.

If like me, you have mastered this system and know it now off by heart then you also have discovered the sleepless nights that come with it. Then when the realisation that you no longer feel that zeal for competitive chess but consider chess to be ‘just a game’ right? That is in fact the next stage in the ever changing system you have taken on board in your attempt to find the answer to improving your game. Where it goes from there , I hazard to guess. All I know is I can’t wait to find out.

Well there you go, if you like me have wondered after repetitive losses what the hell is going on?

Then congratulations and welcome to the awesome Slapped Ass System !!

Everyone will know by now you have been learning it well, when you turn up at your next club match. Don’t ask me why? I promise that it will show how much you have improved and opponents will be able to tell somehow of that I am sure.

By the way good luck and I hope you finally decide to abandon this system like I intend to do and revert back to play chess like you did before and maybe even smile again some day. Be careful then if you chose to change how you play chess and maybe adapt to the wonderful slapped Ass System, as it ain’t so cracked out as it’s reckoned to be.

Bob Radford

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